Ep. 57 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by discussing exclusive golf clubs. Bert tells the story of when he learned about racial slurs as a child, and they have fun watching videos of disgusting toenails, dilated pore removals, and navel stones. They react to getting shouted-out on 85 South, and recall how they got into hip-hop. They take a look at the SUBEAP submissions they got, their take on the PLASTT phenomenon, and discuss their best and worst strip club experiences. Bert also shares how he got mistaken for a Trump supporter on Instagram.


  1. Brennan Weaver

    Brennan Weaver

    Kun oldin

    LeAnne or Bobby lee are tied

  2. mmaassoo


    5 kun oldin

    Smart Tim. This is under YMH

  3. Evan Atwood

    Evan Atwood

    14 kun oldin

    Barf got a job from a guy called cheese Hmmmmmmmm

  4. Crystal Elliott

    Crystal Elliott

    15 kun oldin

    Best guess bear was LeeAnn

  5. TheEmzley


    16 kun oldin

    Tim Dillon

  6. Austin Murray

    Austin Murray

    16 kun oldin

    If we could get bert on a game show I'm almost certain we could recreate the South Park scene where Randy thinks he knows the answer and shouts the n word with a giant smile

  7. Chris Heryla

    Chris Heryla

    17 kun oldin

    Lmao playing Pac-Man 😂😂😂

  8. Oliver Dansinger

    Oliver Dansinger

    18 kun oldin

    best is bert and push

  9. Mayvous *

    Mayvous *

    20 kun oldin

    Best guest was Bobby Lee

  10. rajveer khanduja

    rajveer khanduja

    20 kun oldin

    ryan sickler A HUNDRED PERCENT

  11. Funny Stuff

    Funny Stuff

    20 kun oldin

    41:20 has Toms best expression ever

  12. Michael Stevens

    Michael Stevens

    22 kun oldin

    Law abiding citizen?

  13. Gage Mainus

    Gage Mainus

    22 kun oldin


  14. 11B BQ

    11B BQ

    23 kun oldin

    It's awesome seeing a guy laugh at politics and messing with his kids for a giggle. Of course two teenagers are pissed about politics they definitely don't understand. As if 2020 hasn't proven we got fucked by both sides. Let's just talk and laugh and chill.

  15. chloe kruger

    chloe kruger

    25 kun oldin

    leanne forsure

  16. COOGS12


    25 kun oldin

    Naval stones! Lmfao

  17. wesoldiersallday


    26 kun oldin

    "It'll be fun we'll have a good time" 1:25:50



    28 kun oldin

    Favorite guest Bear was Ryan Sickler, Tim Dillon was a close second

  19. Union Wireman

    Union Wireman

    28 kun oldin


  20. WATTson


    28 kun oldin

    Put a 3 musketeers in the freezer, it’ll change your life. Same with a zero bar

  21. Ashleysart Attack

    Ashleysart Attack

    28 kun oldin

    I’m 27 and my parents have never heard me curse once. I didn’t start until I was like 17 and in college. And still, I have never cursed with my mother around ever. And it’s not something I was taught. My parents were always trying to pressure me to curse. But I never did.

  22. Broken Routine Podcast

    Broken Routine Podcast

    29 kun oldin


  23. Jason Allnatt

    Jason Allnatt

    Oy oldin

    Tim dillon was favorite guest host

  24. Steve N. Brule

    Steve N. Brule

    Oy oldin

    Law Abiding Citizen is a pretty badass movie

  25. Jake Wick

    Jake Wick

    Oy oldin

    Ryan sickler by far



    Oy oldin

    "i guess you can use tinder and not fuck them" and that's how 2020 ended. HAPPY CHRISTMAS



    Oy oldin

    Recist to psychopathic murder. Fun conversation

  28. Jack Miles

    Jack Miles

    Oy oldin

    Bert’s Joey impression is pretty good tbh

  29. jarl-caysen


    Oy oldin

    1:22:00 joke all you want but i believe ron funches when he says it was night and day with his kid.

  30. Mickala Kabeary

    Mickala Kabeary

    Oy oldin

    Labs do thousands of vaccine trials before the vaccine is even approved for the public. If somone were to "grow a tail" they would know during the trials.

    • jarl-caysen


      Oy oldin

      you're right, they would know. except they also don't care and would roll it out anyway!

  31. Johan Ludvigsson

    Johan Ludvigsson

    Oy oldin

    I just realised how to reveal the people that run the world, just invite Bert to the Bilderbergmeating

  32. Epic Guy

    Epic Guy

    Oy oldin

    Bobby all the way

  33. Brandon Brawner

    Brandon Brawner

    Oy oldin

    this made me feel rat ass

  34. Brandon Brawner

    Brandon Brawner

    Oy oldin

    that black family was racist as fuck they called him honky and all kinds of shit then it gets unplugged when burt drops the bomb

  35. nathan garcia

    nathan garcia

    Oy oldin

    I hate bert.

  36. Trevor Carlisle

    Trevor Carlisle

    Oy oldin

    Bert makes me feel a lot better about my personal vices.

  37. Hide Yah Mom

    Hide Yah Mom

    Oy oldin

    Best guest bear is Lee Anne or Sickler

  38. Cameojoe


    Oy oldin

    How many times I gotta hear bert tell the same dumb fucking strip club story!? I get that he does multiple shows an all but that story really isn't funny enough to repeat this many times... wish tom would jump in and remind him when he does this shit.

  39. john y

    john y

    Oy oldin

    Leanne and bobby were great but I loved how Tom set up the episode with Leanne! Her episode was the best imo. Also I could tell tom was finally breathing through his nose on those episodes too. #BertSmells #BertFucksDogs

  40. john y

    john y

    Oy oldin

    I cant stop screaming law abiding citizens

  41. Average Joe Gaming

    Average Joe Gaming

    Oy oldin

    Finally someone other than me is blown away by Busta Rhymes growth. Dude is yoked af

  42. Tommy L

    Tommy L

    Oy oldin

    Bobby lee

  43. Dave Gammon

    Dave Gammon

    Oy oldin

    “I wouldn’t trust something my best friend made, but I’d trust anything big pharma forced me to take.” I wouldn’t trust Burt either, but at least I know he doesn’t profit from my illness.

  44. Dave Gammon

    Dave Gammon

    Oy oldin

    Anyone having a political flag should never really be “Outrageous”. Ppl are so fucking dumb.

  45. cakright


    Oy oldin

    Best Guest Bear-Bobby Lee

  46. 11BangBang


    Oy oldin

    As someone from Indiana who has frequented Ft. Wayne.... Can’t blame him. 😂

  47. allenc1091


    Oy oldin

    At 1:00:34 Bert says "A broken femur is a game changer." Foreshadowing....? LOLLLLL

  48. Noe Garcia Jr

    Noe Garcia Jr

    Oy oldin


  49. Kelli bell

    Kelli bell

    Oy oldin

    Bobby lee was the best best guest bear

  50. Erasmo Flores

    Erasmo Flores

    Oy oldin

    The leann story where she dove off the bike was the funniest part to me idk why!

  51. David Mills

    David Mills

    Oy oldin

    Between Sickler and Dillon #bestguestbear

  52. Bobby Ludlam

    Bobby Ludlam

    Oy oldin

    1:04:00 I'm screaming!!! law abiding citizen

  53. TrapHunt


    Oy oldin

    So Bert's daughter is dating D'elia, and Joey busted his fingers up with a hammer? Poor D'elia, dude can't catch a break, unless it's his fingers.

  54. Logan S

    Logan S

    Oy oldin

    This is how advertisements should be done

  55. Scott W

    Scott W

    Oy oldin

    Bert, I know you and your wife are doing your best, but your kids are very dumb.

  56. Christian Hopkins

    Christian Hopkins

    Oy oldin

    NAVEL STONES NAVEL STONES , i think bart came a little

  57. Weston Forced-last-name-display

    Weston Forced-last-name-display

    Oy oldin

    42:25 I feel like at this moment Tom finally started questioning legitimately the sanity of Chrysler

  58. catcruz35


    Oy oldin

    12 fucken burgers 🍔 😂

  59. kyla marie

    kyla marie

    Oy oldin

    Ok but wasn’t the word “idiot” a diagnosis at one point too tho?

  60. Brian HL

    Brian HL

    Oy oldin

    hey mommies, did you hear? burnt has been made to feel like a less valuable white person due to a very biased inflection. we need to not only support burnt, but also to demand an official apology from rapper t.i., you know, that _black man._

  61. zergintrest


    Oy oldin

    Bert don't worry. Your N word story, I feel, is a story of someone being wrong, getting told so, and was explained on why they were wrong. And admitting that they, in the past, were wrong and accepts it. Cuz you learned, and you applied that to your life. Everybody was wrong at some point. It's how you changed. But, fuck what do I know.

  62. Peter Rabbit

    Peter Rabbit

    Oy oldin

    So this week how did Bert justify being hungover?

  63. Dennis Cadieux

    Dennis Cadieux

    Oy oldin

    Lots of people still can and do use the word retard. Get out of the LA echochamber.

  64. Jacob Lee

    Jacob Lee

    Oy oldin

    i miss sickler he doesnt talk about killing people

  65. Mike R

    Mike R

    Oy oldin

    1) Sickler 2) Leann 3) Tim Dillon 4) Please don't do Bobby Lee again

  66. 마마맘마마마마마ᅡ


    Oy oldin

    This was a great episode of “Bert cancels himself.”

  67. terry winston

    terry winston

    Oy oldin

    wow bert's podcast numbers for bertcast have plummeted big time. think tom and bill will b cutting the bert tethering dead weight soon.

  68. TMAN


    Oy oldin


  69. trolrtkorjkhgjdn


    Oy oldin

    bert is so annoying when he talks about editing stuff out but I think its a holdout from his days on tv

  70. Stephen Jenkins

    Stephen Jenkins

    Oy oldin

    Wow - Tom actually got to speak a bit in this one, just like if he were a person and not just Bert's sounding board.

  71. Michael Gibson

    Michael Gibson

    Oy oldin

    I love how people nervous about this vaccine are grouped in with anti-vaccers. It has been rushed through the process and it's an all new form of vaccine. If you're not nervous you got something wrong with you. The other vaccines have a long track record. And oh all the doctors told me? Doctors are wrong LITERALLY all the time

  72. Bartłomiej Zubkiewicz

    Bartłomiej Zubkiewicz

    Oy oldin

    Nadav didn't knew that Bert is talking about Law Abiding Citizen. Jeebus.

  73. Jeff Harambe

    Jeff Harambe

    Oy oldin

    I've watched every episode of this podcast, and I think this one has to be one of the best. The part when they're talking about revenge for hurting their families made me think of Cersei Lannister and what she says to Septa Unella: Septa: "I am ready to meet my God" Cersei "You think you're going to die today??? Right now????? You are not going to die for quite some time."

  74. Trevor Payne

    Trevor Payne

    Oy oldin

    Best guess 100% Ryan

  75. C B

    C B

    Oy oldin

    LeeAnn was the best substitute bear ever!!!

  76. Miranda Daigle

    Miranda Daigle

    Oy oldin

    Ryan sickler

  77. Christian Denmark

    Christian Denmark

    Oy oldin

    The male cellar worrisomely offend because clipper biologically drain vice a alert buffer. ignorant, burly tulip

  78. Maria Zielinski

    Maria Zielinski

    Oy oldin

    Tie between Bobby & Tim

  79. robert mathews

    robert mathews

    Oy oldin


  80. Todd Durbin

    Todd Durbin

    Oy oldin

    Sickle cell

  81. Marshall McDonough

    Marshall McDonough

    Oy oldin

    1. tym dillen 2. rian siqler 3. bobbee lee 4. leehan chrystals (sorry leehan ur super funny but its kinda unfair when ur being compared to comedians)

  82. Otaku Andy

    Otaku Andy

    Oy oldin

    Watching this shroomed out , Bert is fat asf lmfao

  83. Jose Arteaga

    Jose Arteaga

    Oy oldin

    Best guest bear!!! Ryan Sickler, or anyone that doesn’t fuck dogs!

  84. alex soares

    alex soares

    Oy oldin

    Bobby Lee

  85. Linh Chi 500K Vao Henho24h xyz

    Linh Chi 500K Vao Henho24h xyz

    Oy oldin

    35:02 Anh biết nhiều về Thuốc Mê không? Còn em gói gọn lại đó là anh ⌨

  86. Linh Chi 500K Vao Henho24h xyz

    Linh Chi 500K Vao Henho24h xyz

    Oy oldin

    12:11 Để hôm nay gục đầu trong nỗi nhớ 👞

  87. Joshua Sanders

    Joshua Sanders

    Oy oldin

    Ryan Sickler was the best

  88. Lighthouse094


    Oy oldin

    I guess you are teaching tolerance eh Bert?

  89. Lighthouse094


    Oy oldin

    My daughter's don't know anything but they are anti Trump. Yup makes sense. SMH

  90. BonBon


    Oy oldin

    Let Tim talk! Brett has about 10 not that exciting stories that he tells over and over. The stripper story.....ugh. I still cannot tell if Tim’s memory is that shit or if he just endures it. Bring back any if the guest hosts. Sickler is the best. Bobby Lee is also the best.

  91. Spencer Stutesman

    Spencer Stutesman

    Oy oldin

    I love hearing Bert tell stories that he’s already told on the podcast like he’s never told them before 🤣🤣🤣

  92. Daniel Dominguez

    Daniel Dominguez

    Oy oldin

    Bert is obviously racist...

  93. Jason Miller

    Jason Miller

    Oy oldin

    Best guest bear by a long shot was LeAnn

  94. Saint BoPo

    Saint BoPo

    Oy oldin

    This was a great episode of “Bert cancels himself.”

  95. Icthus at Arms

    Icthus at Arms

    Oy oldin

    More Bobby Lee! But Dillon and Sickler were awesome too!

  96. Ryan Cassar

    Ryan Cassar

    Oy oldin


  97. James Hall

    James Hall

    Oy oldin

    My favorite guest bear was Liann or how ever you spell that shit

  98. BadKharma1


    Oy oldin

    "I had a dream a 32 yr old man was dating my 16 yr old daughter" - The Paul Walker story

  99. Bryson Jamison

    Bryson Jamison

    Oy oldin

    Burt looks like the best fed prairie dog

  100. MrGonzo23


    Oy oldin

    Its nice u got big sponsors. But u should know that most of us here r broke and can't afford these heavily expensive products. Sorry but aint gonna happen.